I'm back to the blogging world once again after a long absence. Will I ever be a regular blogger? I always have good intentions, but when I have free time I find myself turning to my latest book, watching Glee or a rerun of How I Met Your Mother on TV, hanging out with my husband, or reading other people's blogs. Somehow my own blog gets short shrift. But here I am today. On to today's topic - motherhood, careers, and why people can't mind their own business.
Last Sunday, I actually tuned in to the Oscars since I was on vacation in Austin, TX visiting a few wonderful friends from college. At home, I do not watch the Oscars - in some part due to my husband's disdain of Hollywood awards shows, and mostly due to general disinterest. But it was fairly entertaining to watch this year, even though I'm fairly confident James Franco was high for his entire performance.
I was quite happy that Natalie Portman won Best Actress for her role in Black Swan. I saw the movie and really enjoyed it and her performance. She brought forth the 'psycho' part of this 'psycho sexual thriller' more than I expected and had me jumping through much of the movie. Very cool. I was also touched by her acceptance speech when she thanked her fiance and stated that she is about to take on her "greatest role yet," referring to her pregnancy and impending motherhood. As someone who is hoping to take on that role myself, I may have been a bit predisposed to particularly like this kind of comment, but I didn't think at the time that anyone would find fault with it.
But on Tuesday, back home in the snowy northeast, I read through some Oscar recaps and was dismayed to see Natalie Portman criticized for stating that motherhood, for her, is more important than her acting career. Apparently it is a big setback for the feminist movement for a famous woman to state publicly that being a mother is her most important endeavor. My reply is: WTF. I'm not even a mother yet, but I have seen friends, family members, and colleagues who are mothers struggle with the work/motherhood balance. They seem to be criticized if they devote too much time to their children to the detriment of their career, and criticized if they devote too much time to their career to the detriment of their children. What's a woman to do?
When I have children, I know I'll feel just like Natalie Portman. Family is more important than my career, without a question, even though I really enjoy my work and plan to continue working when we have children. Will my status as a well educated, professional woman who finds my role as a mother more important than my professional role mean that I'm pushing women back to the 1950s? I don't think so.
People, particularly women (since for some reason a lot of this criticism seems to come from women), need to take a step back from criticizing mothers, whether they kick ass in the workforce and send their kids to daycare, choose to be stay at home mothers, or do something in between. If Natalie Portman's greatest role is motherhood, let her enjoy it, don't criticize, and mind your own business. The world in general, and particularly women, will be better off for it.
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I totally agree, Cecily! I was actually just writing a piece about how conflicted I felt during my mid-twenties about career choices because in my heart, being a mom was at the top of the list. On a philosophical level, it still is, but like many moms, I do what I have to do to help pay the bills. Luckily, I very much enjoy my job outside the house as well.
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